


Hoboken Crunch

by stew (julie)



Category: Homer Hudson's Ice Cream, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension (1984)
Genre: Gen, Quests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1989-12-17
Updated: 1989-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:00:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22273705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julie/pseuds/stew
Summary: Rawhide is perplexed to find that Buckaroo has discovered a new Cause…





	Hoboken Crunch

**Author's Note:**

> **Notes:** Homer Hudson’s Honest to Goodness Ice Cream was an Australian brand born in 1989 and influenced by a New Jersey vibe. The ice cream itself was awesome, and I loved the clever ad campaign written by Alan White and John Curran. Many of the ads approached Homer Hudson’s quest for the perfect ice cream from a scientific perspective. (I’ve linked the relevant YouTube channel below; two ads particularly on point are ‘Growing Up’ and ‘Indulgence’.) This blend of science and New Jersey during my Banzai fandom days was irresistible, so I had to combine it all into a fic, and name it after my favorite flavor. 
> 
> YouTube channel: <https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=UUW3juI1KBh5mJtu5lIKM0Xw>
> 
> **First published:** in my zine “Samurai Errant: Cavalier Tales Quixotic and Profane” #3 on 17 December 1989

# Hoboken Crunch

♦

‘Rawhide, I have a young man here who needs some lab space.’ 

‘Anywhere in particular?’ Rawhide asked, slowly inspecting the youth in question. Just out of the gangly and pimpled stage of adolescence, he seemed an unlikely candidate to inspire the gleam in Buckaroo’s eye. Rawhide pointedly lifted his left eyebrow. 

‘Somewhere close by Tad and the kitchens.’ 

‘Tad?!’ Rawhide’s right eyebrow joined his left up in his hairline, almost knocking his hat off in the process. ‘Oh?’ he inquired. 

‘Yes. Tad will be looking after Homer during his stay – they’ll be sharing resources where necessary.’ 

‘Mmm.’ Rawhide again considered the youth, spying (to his dismay} a rather fanatical light glowing behind his unassuming expression. 

Buckaroo waited patiently for all of two seconds before bursting out, ‘This is of the utmost importance, Rawhide. Allocate Homer some lab space, see him settled in, and make sure he has everything he needs.’

‘Sure thing, boss.’ 

‘ _Yesterday_ , Rawhide.’ Buckaroo patted the youth on the shoulder encouragingly, and turned to go. But before he even took a step, he turned back again. ‘And, Rawhide – pay him the full stipend immediately.’

‘As of yesterday, Buckaroo,’ Rawhide affirmed – and he bore Buckaroo’s glare with equanimity. Once alone with the youth, he silently appraised him for another long moment. ‘And where do you hail from, Homer?’ he finally asked. 

‘Hoboken, New Jersey, sir,’ the lad politely replied. 

Rawhide grinned. ‘Don’t worry about the “sir” – Buckaroo’s “boss” at most (when he deserves even that) and I’m just plain “Rawhide”.’ 

‘Yes, sir, plain Rawhide.’ Homer gazed up at the cowboy with innocent good nature. 

‘So, no lab space of your own in Hoboken?’ Rawhide asked in slightly severe tones as he led the boy off towards the kitchens. 

‘I worked on the back verandah at home. Lots of distractions.’ 

‘I don’t doubt it. Here we are – have you met Tad?’ 

Rawhide’s question was immediately answered as the Institute’s chef dropped a carton of eggs to the floor and hurried over to them. ‘Homer!’ he cried, a touch of reverence in his always friendly voice. ‘I’m so glad you came. This is the best place for you, I’m sure of it.’ 

‘Thanks, Tad. It’ll be great working here with you.’ 

‘If I can interrupt this mutual admiration society meeting? You’d better tell me what sort of work this is before I allocate the lab space. Just to ensure you have the most appropriate facilities, you understand.’ 

Tad looked at his friend incredulously. ‘You haven’t heard about Homer Hudson’s quest???’ 

‘No. Should I have?’ 

‘Yes – the quest for the ultimate ice cream,’ Tad informed him, the awe in his voice reaching unheard-of proportions. 

‘Ice cream!’ Rawhide exclaimed. ‘Good God, is _that_ what all this fuss is about?’ 

‘Wait until you try one of his prototypes – then you won’t sound so skeptical,’ Tad promised. 

‘Hmm.’ Rawhide pulled the brim of his hat down a little. Things were crazy enough around the Institute, weren’t they, without… ‘The _ultimate_ ice cream, eh?’ 

‘Not for fame or fortune,’ Tad insisted. ‘Homer has a vision of ice cream integrity. An honest-to-goodness ice cream for the people. A search for –’

‘I get the idea,’ Rawhide interrupted drily.

‘That sounded great – you can write my advertising campaigns,’ Homer told Tad as they all headed for the nearby labs. 

‘Ice cream,’ Rawhide mused. ‘What I wouldn’t give for a good dark _rich_ chocolate ice cream…’ 

‘Consider it done,’ Homer said cheerfully. ‘You can be one of my creative consultants.’ 

‘You’re on the team?’ asked Buckaroo, who’d come to impatiently check on their progress. ‘Congratulations, Rawhide.’

‘Thought you were into macrobiotics these days, Buckaroo,’ Rawhide observed. 

‘I am indeed. But only so far as it doesn’t conflict with The Cause.’ 

‘What _Cause_?’ Rawhide cried out in exasperation. 

‘What do you think? The only Cause that’s worth working for… Truth, justice and Homer Hudson’s ice cream!’

♦


End file.
